At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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