This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's never too late to be topless.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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