I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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