Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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