so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
