i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
