I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
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I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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