You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
