I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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