that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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