u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
