my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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