I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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