is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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