you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
