Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
