I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i barfeds in our rink
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
