your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize