What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Acid is not a monday night drug
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
