New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
