remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
