you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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