it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
