Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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