I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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