so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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