I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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