Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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