Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
