I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
it glows. i had to have it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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