I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
then he tried to convert me to islam
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
