Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
