I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
