I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
