it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
