We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
