there's paper in my vomit.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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