i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
