Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
