i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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