I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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