I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
