Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
