So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
