is your mom at the bar?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I need moral support for this bender
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
