she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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