So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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