just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
