if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
