found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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