once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
