Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.

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(+44): View more from England

I just gift wrapped bread.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part

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(815): View more from Illinois

she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.

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(214): View more from Texas

He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.

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(310): View more from California

I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?

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(434): View more from Virginia

Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.

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(770): View more from Georgia

My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success

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