So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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