On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
