Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
