it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
