so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
