Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
false alarm, still single
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