Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i will never coherently bang her
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
