you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
