Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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